500 Words On…A Chosen Superpower

What superhero or superpower would you most like to have?

I don’t know if we put enough thought into this question when we’re asked. I’ve almost always been enamored with Batman, so that’s the answer I’d blurt out.

Then, beginning in 2007, I began to experience unrelenting and mysterious strains and sprains. That was the impetus behind me changing my answer to the question above. And while THANKFULLY those things are gone, my answer remains the same. Which I’ll get to.

First, let’s run through the WHAT ABOUT exercise…

Superman – A single pebble of Kryptonite can fell him. Pass. BTW, an actor I enjoyed on Da Vinci’s Demons is playing a key role in the SyFy Superman prequel TV show.

Iceman – I hate winter and the cold.

Black Widow – What? You assumed this list would only be dudes?! She has no superpowers, so pass.

Green Lantern – Imaginative magical constructs thanks to a ring? Sorry, I don’t wear ever jewelry or even accessories often.

Optimus P…wrong list.

Punisher – Considering my consistent and adamant stance about mental health people and guns, absolutely not. Also, no superpowers.

Luke Cage – Unbreakable skin. This is kind of icky, but I like picking scabs sometimes.

Daredevil – The best non-social media app on my phone just updated for the 2018 season. The MLB At Bat app. I LOVE spending Sunday afternoons on the couch flipping around radio broadcasts from around the country…but I think being blind is a handicap I won’t accept. Not even for those incredible extra sensory skills Matt Murdock owns.

Wonder Woman – For the Lasso Of Truth alone this is almost the pick. But I assume I’d be as clumsy with it as I am a tie, and I’d wind up sharing every truth I’ve ever lived. No.

Magneto – Does stuff with metal. Always sounds dull. I’m always impressed in cinema, TV and comics just how powerful the villain with the most endearing back story in history actually is. I don’t want that Holocaust experience in my soul though. Pass.

Professor X – Can’t do the wheelchair, even if it’s to read the thoughts of all.

Jean Grey – She is the apex of mutant power. That’s too much for me. I’d be overwhelmed. Or lose my temper. Universe and existence destroyed. That’s bad.

Spider-Man – Speaking of responsibilities and powers. I’m not one much for heights.

Am I being too picky?

Hulk – Always needing new pants? No thanks. We all love finding those one or two pairs we wear till they disintegrate.

Thor – I’m terrible with tools. I cower just driving through a Home Depot or Lowe’s parking lot, so no Mjolnir for me.

Captain America – Toughest pass on the list. What’s to dislike. Still, there’s something specific I crave. Then again my frisbee skills have always been kinda wack.

The Flash – Hmmmm, I’ve never been fast, so this is intriguing. But…

Batman – I think he IS a superhero, but has no traditional superpowers. Just peak human physical and mental traits. And this…

Invisible Woman – More frequent loss of clothing, I think. No.

Silver Surfer – Very cool powers, I think woman would dig a surfer. But his existence seems lonely. I do NEED a couple of friends. No.

Iron Man – No powers.

Deadpool – His scarring is not worth the MAXIMUM EFFORT abilities. Plus, I’ve got the sarcasm and self awareness at optimal levels anyway.

Black Panther – As much as I think I can integrate almost anywhere, it’s unlikely I’m accepted. I’m white.

Doctor Strange – Interesting, again. I think could conceivably learn sorcerer’s spells on my own without having to wish for a superpower.

Beast – I could conceiveably be my own best friend! But how would the dogs act towards me. No.

Iron Fist – I think I’m in for Danny Rand’s powers, except I know whose powers I want. Yes. Powers. More than one.

After suffering for YEARS with strains and pains. Everywhere, just about every joint, tendon and ligament in my body ached, inexplicably. Dozens of scans performed, from x-rays to MRIs to CTs. Usually tendonitis was diagnosed. But, how? From what? Rheumatoid? Nope. None of the several rheumatologists I saw would go with RA.

Amid all this, my answer went from one kind of darkness to another kind. It was no more Batman as my answer to what superpowers would you want or who would you want to be.

I yearn to have Adamantium alloy lining my bones making me nearly indestructible. And if by some chance, a foe did topple me, my regenerative healing would mend me. Also, those Adamantium lined claws make opening cans of tuna – and people – much easier.