Eric’s Life Rules (UPDATE)

They really need a more memorable name. Like, where I borrowed the idea from.

The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition.

What do you think of Eric’s Rules Of Logic or Eric’s Logic Of Life?

I’d regularly throw out these clever maxims on the air, such as no neck tattoos, when one day I realized that Phillipe had begun to keep track of some of them. From that moment on, I knew needed to be much more mindful of these superb nuggets of wisdom.

I already had an entry in my NOTES app titled PHILOSOPHY. These were words of guidance from those far more thoughtful and eloquent than I, that I would follow and refer back to, or share with others. From Da Vinci, to contemporary authors, to cinematic dialogue, to broad concepts I narrowed into a sentence…

Work on your obituary, not your resume

Study your opponent and defeat them before the fight begins

Pity the warrior that slays all his foes

Doubt leads to death

Leadership means being second guessed, but a leader can never second guess himself. 

And so on…

Speaking of authors, in the last year I became familiar with thinker, economist, and polymath Tyler Cowen, and his book The Complacent Class.

I’m sure to hit his blog – MARGINAL REVOLUTION – everyday for its succinct, concise entries. He recently wrote about Jordan Peterson, who I couldn’t take for more than a few minutes, who offered HIS own rules of life. Cowen then put forth his, and that was the assertive catalyst for me to finally offer up MY poorly named precepts. Oooooh. PNP is a worthy little acronym. Eric’s PNPs! Consider it!

The list is short, but will remain fluid, and of course deeply helpful and philosophical.

3. No kids in self checkout

6. No kids in local coffee shops

8. The saying fire drill is incorrect, it’s an actual fire. Drill is practice

22. Use a turn signal, especially if someone is behind you

25. Never trust the short checkout line. There’s a reason it’s short.

43. No neck tattoos

47. No matter how good your idea, someone else thought of it first

48. Still try YOUR version of the idea

55. It’s OK to sleep with married people if you’re certain they’re leaving the relationship

88. WE is unacceptable when referring to a team you root for

90.  Absolutely no screwing around on a plane

95. It’s all about the messaging

96. Actually, it’s all about context

98. It’s really all about perspective

99. Everyday is your birthday.

100. Everyday is Mother’s Day. And Father’s Day. And your anniversary, Valentine’s etc…

101. Don’t do meth H\T Colin Cowherd

106. Penalties and fines should be based on your income

107. Always sit one seat away or be one treadmill away, if possible.

117. Even the objective can be subjective

138. NEVER use the C word that rhymes with bunt

140. If you don’t like peanut butter, I don’t trust you

151. If you can’t afford a good life for a baby, don’t make a baby

152. Abortions are OK

199. They’re sneakers, sodas, and lollipops

210. Don’t fuck up

211. College football fans are the WORST fans

231. No dogs dying in movies

244. Read message boards and comment sections but don’t post

290. My dogs lives come before yours

315. Some people win the DNA lottery AKA have genetic affluence

322. Urgent care equals lousy care

325. Do not seek complicated orders at fast food places. The NO ONIONS precept

400. If it didn’t die or grow, it won’t help your clean eating

403. If the neighbor’s wife is attractive, covet away

465. Non-stick pans are myth

470. Athleisure closing makes you more attractive

477. MJ, then everyone else

490. Safety, not selfie

501. Growth, not goals

503. If you tuck your ears into your hat, no corporate work for you

512. Milk is disgusting

533. All I need is a place to walk dogs, gym and Internet

561. Before you break-in, check for a key

I’m sure there are DOZENS more. I just can’t think of them until I spit them out. Then I note them. If you have any that you know I’ve used before, please pass them along to me and I will add them to the list.



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